Hi dee ho. This is Carl Cordova, official C.R.O.C. spokesperson and, apparently, chief blogger. I was told that to reach the teeming masses of youngsters out there in cyberland, we absolutely had to have one of these. So here I am. Typing. If you’re reading this you must really love the environment, because at C.R.O.C., we do too. We love it so much, we want to make sure that the only people who get to destroy it are the same ones who are doing things to help it. Or at least the ones who are buying a bunch of offset points on the open market. Makes sense, doesn’t it? We think so. But if you’re not a huge, global corporation, not to worry. C.R.O.C. is here to help citizens like you reap the benefits of carbon offsets, then wreak havoc on the environment you love so much. If you haven’t checked out our Earned Devastation Calculator, do it now. It’s the quickest way to find out how much environmental destruction you’re entitled to do. Before you know it, you’ll be acting like a big ol’ multi-national polluter. Bet you never thought that hybrid of yours would give you the right to set fire to an old-growth deciduous forest. Well, today’s the day. And tomorrow looks even brighter, if you don’t think about the pollution. And we sure don’t. It’s been offset, right? You’re damn right it has.